addicted to
i'm not here to win
i'm here to leave a legacy
si qu huo lai
it's the passion that drives you
endorphins
pain
exhaustion
chasing this insane dream
perfection
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wth. this is like worse than china illness. day 1 sore throat. day 2 sore throat giddiness. day three sore throat giddiness severe body aches 39.9deg fever!? and that was with panadol and antibiotics. i swear my brain felt like it was melting. massive headaches. nausea. kept on feeling super cold then super hot and then cold again. body aches were like hell. like the BONES were aching or something.
and the worst part is that i can't sleep. because it's so freaking uncomfortable and i keep on thinking about how i am losing mugging time. so whole night last night was spent getting up then going to bed then getting up again. soon i couldn't tahan then just got up and did what? i started filing my worksheets again. hurhur. yestd was the same story. i couldn't sit in bed cos i kept on thinking that it was too unproductive so i just sat down and filed a lot of worksheets. i think it's sianying's influence. rubbing off on me.
the doc said i looked stressed. i think that is hilarious. because. IT'S EOYS NOW AND OFCOURSE I AM FREAKING STRESSED BECAUSE I AM SICK AND CANT STUDY AND I FEEL LIKE I AM DYING. haha. then she gave me a little lecture on how i should not be too elitist. HAHAHA. aiyah okay she was being nice. and i think she's a good doctor (: but i just thought that the whole nature of the convo was pretty amusing.
stupid running nose. i am feeling quite miserable. but thank god i think the drugs are finally kicking in cos now i don't feel the fever or bodyaches. just that when i sit down and study i feel awful and my brain functions twice as slowly as it used to. that's pretty darn slow considering how slow i already am.
ok i should stop being ranty and try to do work again. just needed to vent because i am so pissed off at myself.